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Miss jennifer lee
My 5 yr old son is extremely hyper, and his behavior is becoming increasingly disruptive. He reacts in fits of rage and tempertantrums. I've explored many possible reasons and redirective strategies to correct this behavior, but I am concerned he may not grow out of this phase. Do I have reason for concern?

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Your concern is quite understandable. But worrying is not going to help him or you. Proper planning and action are needed. May I suggest the following.
1. You and anyone else who in the family should treat him with love, kindness and patience. Avoid scolding and getting angry with him or with others in his presence. Immerse him in an atmosphere of abundant love.
2. Make sure he is always kept busy with something creative. As he is 5 year old, you can engage him with toys or games that interest him.
3. Try offering rewards - for good behavior, creative activity accomplishments etc. Along with rewards he could be told that there will be punishments for bad behavior, but in a nice way, not threatening. As far as possible do not punishment. Withholding reward can be an acceptable form of punishment.
4. Prayer can help. Enlist the prayer support of those close to you. God will help.
Wish you success. Give him my love

Mr Joseph Vempeny India
(Expert Rating 2831)
   Member has an expert rating of 2000+
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I will offer a simpler response.

Ignore his tantrums and disruptions.

This will require INCREDIBLE discipline on your part. One of my children, at age two, 'discovered' that Mom would go bonkers to placate him if he threw himself on the floor and cried in her presence. It took me longer to 'train' my wife than it did to resolve the behavior problem. I stepped over him and left the room. He followed and 'threw himself down' outside the door of the room to which I retired. I stepped over him and went to another room. He repeated the action. Once he learned that I was not impressed, he tried it on Mom. There, it worked. She couldn't STAND to see our son "suffer" and placated him.

Discover exactly who is training whom.

When you discover that his behavior is an 'attention-getting' effort on his part, determine some positive attention. Games, teaching, etc.

If the disruptions are more than attention-getting, take him to a psychiatrist for evaluation.

The sooner you can identify the problem, the sooner you can deal with it. Most of the time, 'dealing with it' only requires some intestinal fortitude and a 'deaf ear' to the screaming, but only for a short time. You are there to train the child, not vice versa.

Mr Craig Brownell
(Expert Rating 8713)
   Member has an expert rating of 5000+
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Tantrums are - as we all know - attention seeking. My approach when one of my children is attention-seeking is to give them attention! Not for the behaviour they are showing which would only reinforce it, but by getting to the root of why they think they need to behave like this to get attention, then deal with that.

Has something changed in family life? My son used to beat me mercilessly when he was just a little younger than you. He was frustrated because he couldn't tell me how much he missed his Dad, who had left. As he got a little older, he calmed and could explain, and we worked through it. When he was actually having a tantrum, I'd restrain him - for fear he'd hurt himself, or confine him to a safe area.

If he's at nursery - has something happened there to change - staff or a new kid in class. Worth asking.

He may just be a very energetic wee soul, but 'hyper' ness can often be associated with certain foods or additives - maybe a food diary might give you some clues? My son used to go totally hyper if I gave him Calpol - whatever additive is in that sent him loopy!

(Expert Rating 2522)
   Member has an expert rating of 2000+
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Have you considered that your son is responding to all the chemicals in food.
My own son is also five, and hypes up something unbelievable on different junk foods, and also other normal foods. His behaviour changes dramatically when he has any orange or yellow colouring in his food.. like cheetos or twisties..fanta.. that sort of thing. I just tried the trial and error way and watched his behaviour after each type of food he had. He can go from a lovely well mannered boy to the antichrist in a matter of 15 minutes. Id start reading the packets of your food and deleting certain numbered chemicals out of his food. I'm so sure you will see the difference.. There are many web sites on Google you can look into, but each child is individual. he may grow out of some of the food allergies, but if you don't get onto it, his behaviour will stay. Nutritionist are fantastic resources for information too. good luck.. hope this helps.

Ms netty mac Australia
(Expert Rating 459)
   Member has an expert rating of 200+
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Have you considered that your son may have a medical condition commonly referred to as ADD? Reluctant to see a 5-year-old on medication myself, I can understand your hesitancy to consider this, but it is a REAL ailment that is also easily cured through regular medication. Sure, and your son may grow out of his personality defects, but why make him (and you) suffer in the meanwhile? Go to your Doctor, explain the symptoms and get your son prescribed one of the several ADD medications - you will note the difference in his behaviour immediately and will have your loving, accessible son back in your life instead of the constant battle now being waged.

Mr Ed Sherman
(Expert Rating 162)
   Member has an expert rating of 100+
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