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Questions answered by Seamus Madden M.A.S.C.    (Expert Rank: 1508) Member has an expert rating of 100+
 

Why did this happen?

OK so I was out shopping with my mum, when our old neighbour came over and started a conversation, long story short, her daughter who is my age used to be my best friend when we were like 3 to 7, then I had to move, I gave her my guitar my mum bought me when I was 5, (I always liked music and continue to play guitar) its only a little guitar, we went over to her house to visit when our mums said why don't you and (lets call her Jane to hide identities) Jane go upstairs an play the computer, so we did, we liked the same bands and stuff and the same shows and she had much the same game collection as me so we had fun, then I saw my old guitar in the corner rested against the wall, I started playing it (I was playing Ground Control to Major Tom) and she lost it, started shouting and stuff, took the guitar and I had to spend the rest of the night with the adults, why was I shouted at?

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Question found in People & Relationships In General
I suspect the reason may have a lot to do with her and very little to do with you.
She may have never learned to play, so she was jealous and envious of you.
Whatever the reason, it may have been a one off so smile and move on.

:)

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Angry woman on the run, that's how my husband describes me. What's wrong with me? I'm always angry for no reason at all?

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Question found in Health & Fitness In General
Hi,
You maybe showing confusions and hurt related to a past event or situation.
The anger is just a symptom of that confusion, find the cause and your anger will start to dissipate.

Regards

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When a star is dying it burns up the last of the last of the matter that's sustaining it so it colapses into itself exploding into whatever you want to call it depending on the size of the star right? And I'm guessing since a black hole has a greater gravitational pull then a star it has more matter in it just we can't see it because everything that goes into it dosent come out even light right? So my question for you is if everyones going with the big bang theory what caused the bang because as far as I know since the most matter in one place that we know of becomes a black hole then wouldnt the big bang theory be one huge Black hole? Just a guess but if you had that super massive black hole and it really sucked in everything into it matter and space and it had nothing else to pull in that gravitational force could somehow reverse itself. Sorry for the question I'm 16 and really have alot on my mind if you could clear things up for me that would be great thanks.

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Question found in Science In General
As for most of your Cosmos question of late they are beginning to follow a pattern, and as you have now shown some candour by telling me your age the pieces are beginning to make more sense.

None of this is about the universe and how it came into being, it is all about you and your future life within it. And being a young and obviously intelligent 16YO things can just get overwhelming at times.

It is part of the make up of being "Human" that we have to have ways to explain events/behaviours of what is happening around us, the trouble is they are sometimes based on some very limited knowledge so we have to fill in the gaps with a lot of guesses, that is true of a scientist studying the cosmos as it is for a 16yo struggling to make sense of their world and where they fit in it. Over analysing things that we just can't answer is a symptom not a solution. And that is where you should start my friend, why are you over analysing a subject that in itself wont help you in the long run? Maybe you need to bring all your intelligence and focus on what is happening to you directly and base your next question on that.

Regards


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Thanks that helps alot

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If space is a vaccum it's not going to have any resistence to stoping all the matter from the big bang but what if some how they where linked to each other by gravity that will in the future it will pull itself back into itself crunching itself into a masive black hole doing crazy stuff!

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Question found in Science In General
Your knowledge about how a vacuum works is ok but you are neglected in one very important area. All known data suggests that the cosmos is expanding and not contracting you seem to fear, which makes me curious as to why you actually have that fear in the first place.

Why dont you ask what is really on your mind so i/we can be of more help and reassurance?

Kind regards

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Thanks

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I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me about a couple of months ago, but its really complicated. They didn't sleep together, but they did make out, and it was with his best (female) friend. I know she initiated it, plus she absolutely hates me, and would do anything to break us up. My boyfriend was really drunk at the time, although he realises that that is no excuse and it was him that stopped it, they're no longer friends because he told her they couldn't continue as he loved me and what they were doing was wrong. We've been together 2 years and this is the first time anything like this has happened and he seems truly sorry. He's so angry at himself. He tells me he will make it up to me, even if it takes him the rest of his life. He says I'm the love of his life. He doesn't know why he did it and he says cannot be excused. He knows he has done wrong and really wants me to forgive him. I know this sounds stupid, but this REALLY isn't the sort of thing he'd do, although obviously he did. I love him so much. I know what my head is telling me, but my heart says different. I don't know what to do. Please help me.

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Question found in People & Relationships In General
So your rational mind accepts what he has said and knows he is genuine but your heart still feels betrayed?

This is normal, and should hopefully settle down if he acts caring and honest and doesnt get too self conscious due to feeling guilty and angry as he knows he has let himself down and hurt you.

I hope you can balance what your head is telling you with what your heart feels, going by what you have written it seems the only logical step and you both seem to still love and care about each other. If you still have doubts then that maybe the place you should start from.

I wish you both every happiness.

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If everythings made of atoms that means the build up of them to creat an object would have to mean that if you had a red ball the atoms that make up that ball would have to be red right? or a mixture of atoms to creat that colour. Any tips for this question that I'm not understanding?

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Question found in Science In General
You got that about summed up right.

You could view atoms like cells in a living body, many various types all performing many functions. The processes involved mirror things that happen in the visible world, cells are like atoms, players in football teams are similar, even people in companies all perform like atoms do, the only thing that makes them seem more mystical is that we cant see them.

Regards, :)

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Thanks but what about when you have red paint and yellow paint and you mix them together why do you get orange paint? Because their was no chemical change that happend you simply just combined the so how in the end do you get a completly different colour?

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Discussion:

If there are atoms that are used to show colour are diluted or mixed with other atoms that represent other colours then our eyes will see different hues and shades. The atoms havent been altered in any way, just how many of any one colour/s, so its the quantities that have changed. The rest is down to an individuals colour abilities, as some people do not have the full spectrum of colour wavelengths they will see less than what others may see.

:)

We know what instinct is, we know instinct is present, but we can not see it, we have no explanation as to how it originated. My question is how did instinct come to originate in different forms inside of animals and humans?

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Question found in Science In General
Hi,
Lets focus on the first assumption you make. We dont know what instinct is, can you really say that you understand what it is? We know we have them, but we take them for granted, so can you state which of your emotions are actually instincts?

These same confusions are what plague scientists now. We know where instincts are "stored", in the cerebellum. We know that the desire to keep breathing is a classic example of what we suppose an instinct is. We also know that they are "hard wired" into our brains via DNA, but how?

I suspect that we may never truly know the answer but one idea has been put forward by Richard Dawkins, in his book "the Selfish Gene".
He suggested that we may be the accumulation of different viruses, this maybe the case but what is obvious to me is that these "instincts" must have been "laid" and then evolved into what we have now, what the exact process that led to what mammals as well as other creatures involved will be hard to prove as the first creatures that needed to breath may not be ever found in the fossil records. What I suspect is that we maybe the result of a lot of different avenues of evolution, we have kept the dna that we need and either have lost the bits that dont matter anymore or they are part of the dna that has no obvious use.

Regards

Please note that this theory is (C), please acknowledge the author

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Good answer

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What do you call a substance that allows heat to pass along it easily?

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Question found in Science In General
A conductor

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What is the most interesting question you've ever answered on this forum?

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Question found in Miscellaneous
The very first question that I answered is the one that has stuck in my mind the longest.

"Why do most babies learn to say daddy first rather than mommy?"

You will have to go to page 41 of my question replies to see what was said.

Regards

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Dear professional,

I have recently seen a copy of an email that my 14yr old daughter sent to your site. It goes like this...Im 15 and I really want to have sex but for the time being im just going to stick to masturbation. I have been doing it for about 2 yrs now and Im getting bored of all the techniques I have. I have tried the shower head and electric toothbrush but I need some more, does anyone have any sugestions??...

To say that I am shocked would not be entirely true but bitterly disappointed I definitely am. Firstle she is lying about her age and secondly, I really thought that she had more sense. I have found evidence of her masterbation but we have never talked about it. I have to admit it is a subject that I had kind of hoped to avoid having to talk about in such detail with her as I am at a loss as to what to say if I am honest.

Her hygiene habits are awful and I am convinced that she will be giving herself an infection if she carries on and this is only from masturbation. God only knows how she would cope with a sex life. She has little or no experience of boys let alone sexual contact as she attends an all girls school and only meets boys at air cadets club.

What am I supposed to do now? Can you help me deal with this and keep her from having sex too early. I have had the full in depth discussions with her about sex, the safety and consequences. Indeed she is better informed than most and has a little sister who is eleven years younger than her! We often talk openly about all sorts of things, so why is this subject so difficult?

What do I say to her without revealing this conversation? Or do I let her know that I know as an opener? HOw do I convince her to be more responsible when she does not seem to want to take responsibility for herself in any other way? Why is she sounding so desperate to have sex? I am parenting alone and feel totally at a loss what to do now?

Please can you help?

Worried Mother

M James

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Question found in Parenting & Family In General
Hi,
Its tough being a parent, and even harder to be a caring one, and harder still to be a single and caring parent. :)
How did you behave when you were her age towards sexual matters?
Did you masterbate, was it even discussed?

I get the feeling that she sees it as such a black box that it maybe almost an addiction to find out all about it. If the subject has been treated as awkward then she may also feel more predisposed to curiosity so she has a fixation about it. She wont realise yet that she is heading for an anticlimatic experience as what she hopes it will be is seldom what reality gives back.

The other area that strikes me is her attitude towards hygiene. In my experience this could indicate some form of trauma at worst or a learned lack of self esteem which could have a connection to why you are a single parent now.

Bearing these two aspects in mind, I have listed contact details in my profile page which you may feel would be an option to explore rather than debating more personal info on this sites pages.

As for advice, I would go for the direct route but be very careful about how you go about it. If you wave this email under her nose and sound all judgemental and critical then she will just goto to ground and you will lose a communication link with her. I would suggest kids gloves and try and gain her trust by asking caring and open questions like;
"Have you thought the safety issues through, and if you have what will you do?"

This isnt a quick fix scenario and space is limited here. but i am happy to help more. :)

Comments :
Hi there,

Thank you so much for your kind, sensitive and supportive answer to my question. I have decided to follow your advice and I think the elements you mention are key in this matter. I feel much calmer and less worried now so thanks again. x


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