Questions answered by Seamus Madden M.A.S.C.
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hi I'm a 16 year old girl. A few days ago I found out my dad was cheating. I was hurt. but for some reason at first it felt like he was cheating on ME and then I took my mother's feelings into consideration. Why is this? Some times I feel like I have sexual feelings for my father. I feel so sick and just think "ew gross" is this a phase all children go through? or is it genetic sexual attraction? My dad and the rest of my family have been apart for 4-5 years and were reunited 4 years ago? What is GSA? how can it be prevented or treated? please help. I have felt this for a while. It went away when I started going out more but now it has started coming back again since its the holidays. |
| Question found in Parenting & Family In General |
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Hello, Ive noticed that you have a few questions on here covering, at first sight, different issues or confusions that you may feel you have. You maybe surprised to know that your confusions may all be related to the question you have above. Comparatively speaking you are still very young and any situation that may lead you to feeling emotional may lead to these types of confusions arising. They will force you to have to re-evaluate how all the important parts of your life all fit together, which will include how you view your sexuality, the role of your parents in your life and how they all bind to you, in short the news about your Dad has completely thrown you off kilter. The first thing you need to do is accept that this news has caused you to feel confused, hurt, betrayed and a whole lot of other mixed feelings. The second thing that you need to realise is that your sexuality may or may not be bi-sexual as your perspective of who you are maybe in free fall, it may prove to be true and these events may have been a catalyst but that is not the priority at this moment in time. Thirdly, you need to talk to your Dad and find out his side of the story, as no doubt you will hear a lot about it from your Mum. And lastly, you will go through a dictionary of emotions in the coming weeks, be ready for them, ask for help if you feel the need. Of the most likely emotions that you may feel will be anger, betrayal, guilt. They can be very destructive if not anticipated so don't be afraid to talk about how you feel and don't bottle too much up because you don't want to make a scene or hurt anyone's feelings. You will get through this and so will your family, one day at a time, just be prepared for what is coming and you will be fine. Good luck to you all Comments :  thank you. my mum has forgiven my dad and my family situation is alright at the moment. but now i am VERY confused about my sexuality and i am scared that i might be bisexual/lesbian. very very scared. whenever i think about it i get this nasty feeling in my chest and stomach.can you read my Qs plz?
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Discussion:
yes i understand what u are saying. my family situation is good at the moment. the only thing i am concerned about now is my sexuality. and actually, i started questioning my sexuality before this happened. sometimes i feel like i may have been imagining it all and that i was assuming that i was homosexual/ bisexual without any basis. but sometimes i get a strong feeling that these events really might have been a catalyst. but i don't know and i am really confused. i think i started questioning my sexuality when i first heard about it which was when i was 12 or so. i am not completely sure about this though. but i don't know y i was questioning my sexuality in the first place. but i think i forgot about it for a while but then it came back (i don't know y). but at that time i started liking this guy so i thought "no i can't be lesbian coz i like this guy" and then i forgot about it. but a while later i started to imagine 'girl on girl' stuff on purpose and developed this special interest in homosexuality. i would read questions about homosexuality from other teens over and over again secretly. but i just thought to myself 'no you are just being stupid. forget about it' then i did forget about it for a while. but during that time i started becoming interested in photos of really pretty girls and i would look at them and save Thousands of photos of them and i would excited when i open 'My Pictures' so that i could look at them. i guess you could say i have an obsession with pretty girls. i would also save pictures of male celebrities but i would never get excited to open them but when i did open them i would smile coz i thought they were very cute. sometimes after a few weeks of saving those pictures of those girls, i would open them and feel really weird for doing that and i would think "why did i even save some of these pictures?" and delete them. but i wouldn't stop looking at their pictures. they made me feel beautiful as well. i would study their faces to see what made them pretty . i think i thought that if i could see what made them pretty then i could do that to my face as and be pretty as well. but i just could not bring myself to delete those pictures. but anyway one day i came across this video accidentally of this female model dancing in a bikini. she was would you would call exceptionally beautiful and she is known to have the sexiest body in the world. as i was watching this video i felt this sexual feeling in my vagina. it was the feeling you get after you finish 'cumming'. i panicked and the next day i Googled 'Am I a Lesbian'. i went to all these sites and they said a few things i was unsure of and a few things that i applied to me. i kept denying it but after a few more websites i was convinced that i was a lesbian. i reacted really badly. thinking it was just a phase etc...later i went to this website which talked about how homosexual/bisexual teens react when they realize they are homo/bi. the freaky thing this i reacted EXACTLY the same way. so i now i had no choice but to accept it. then i started crying and thinking about my life as a lesbian. eg. having a wife, children etc. i guess you could say i sort of accepted that sort of life. i started imagining having sex with a girl. at first it was disgusting. i couldn't believe i was actually imaging these things! but then i got used to it. but later i would start thinking it was disgusting again. i was really depressed for a week. i would go a whole day without eating anymore than a banana. my Mum noticed and asked me wat was wrong. i told her that i thought i was a lesbian or a bi-sexual. she asked me why i thought that. i told her all of this. she said that i wasn't keeping an open mind about this and i was looking at this in only one direction. she said that i was linking things i found on the websites to my own life for no reason. i can understand where she is coming from. i am the sort of person who worries about things for no reason. for example. when i was 13 i started hearing about sex and pregnancy a lot. i also started to put on a little weight. so for no reason i thought that i was pregnant! evn thought i had NEVER HAD SEX!!!!! haha. now i look back and think 'omg i was so stupid!'. m mum said this might be like that as well. my mum said she worries about silly things as well. like on time she she was thought she had brain tumor and she went on all these websites and she became convinced she had brain tumor and she thought she was gonna die. but all the symptoms were for TB. well anyway she said i was going through the same thing and i believed her and i was OK for a while but i keep thinking about it over and over again. i think wat my mum said is true to a certain degree. after i became convinced that i was lesbian i couldn't look at cute guys the same way anymore. the guys i thought who were cute and made me smile just a couple of DAYS ago didn't make me smile anymore. but anyway i am not completely convinced that i am straight. when ever i look at a sexually explicit photos of a female body i start getting that feeling in my vagina again. this never happens and almost has never happened with a guy. this happens several times a day and sometimes happens randomly for no reason. i realized that the female body turns me on more than a male body. i also realized that before i started going on those websites that i used to sort of try to turn myself straight and i had a fear of me being a homosexual and was in denial sort. i ask myself why would i turn myself straight if i am not lesbian in the first place. this makes me think that i am lesbian. and if i see someone's boobs i keep looking at it over and over again. this also makes me think that i am lesbian. its these things and my obsession with pretty girls - almost bordering on crushes that makes think that i may be a homosexual. but then i think "how can I be lesbian. ME?!?!?! NO WAY" i am just a really confused. the way i look st girls has started to change. my Mum still thinks this is all in my head. i don't know whether she is right or if may be really onto something here. i used to fantasize about boys ALL the time. having relationships with them and having sex with etc....but now i can't. and when i used to fantasize about them i would alter myself in some ways. eg.make myself prettier , have a much better personality (like the girls i am obsessed with) and make myself smarter etc. and one day when me and my best friend (who is a girl. i hardly talk to boys) were hanging out and talking about our future married life, i just COULD NOT imagine myself with a guy. its like my brain stopped working or something. after that i panicked as well. and sometimes when i am with some of my friends i tell them "oh i wish i had a background coz i feel so lonely" but i just cannot imagine myself with a guy. if i change a few things about myself then i can imagine. and sometimes i would look at my friends cheeks or lips and think they are pretty and imagine (just for a second) kissing her cheeks or lips. soon after that i would think ewwwwwwww i can't believe i just did that. this is also freaking me out. plz help! i feel like i am going crazy. i don't know if i am right with this or not. can u or someone plz read my other - really long - question and tell me wat u think? plz do it as soon as you can. i am sexually inexperienced and have never had a boyfriend. please please help!!!! i am panicking. and i look at all the girls in my school and imagine kissing them see if i like it but of course i don't. i feel like i am going crazy!!!! i can't concentrate on my school work or anything. pleaze pleaze reply. and tell me wat you think. do you think i could be a lesbian or a bisexual? |
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I live in Arizona where the temperatures are high in the summer. My question is about our air conditioner. We have a programmable thermostat and leave it set at 85 degrees during the day. If I set it lower - say 80 degrees - will it run more often to hold the temperature? Or would it run the same at either setting? |
| Question found in Science In General |
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Hello, The temperature that it is set at is the temperature that will switch it on, so you are right. Whether or not it will come on will depend on what range your local temperatures fall in. If it very seldom goes below 83 then it will come on a lot less then it would set at 85 and then as you can see you then start hopping about trying to second guess what the temperature is going to do and miss the more fun stuff. What is for you a comfortable temperature? This could vary a little depending on what you are doing but for me 75 sounds a lot more normal but for you 85 is what you maybe more use to. So set it at that temperature and tweak when necessary. Regards |
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Several people at our work have been throwing up and itching, is this a certain type of virus? |
| Question found in Health & Fitness In General |
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Hello, Throwing up is not good so get them to get checked out asap before all hell breaks loose. Good luck Comments : No kidding
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How do I go about asking my girlfriends mum for her daughters hand in marriage? |
| Question found in People & Relationships In General |
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Does she not have a Dad? Traditionally you would seek a blessing from her Father to seek marriage but if she does not have one then her Mum it is then. You do not need to do anything to flash to ask a parent for a blessing. If you intend to ask for the blessing before you ask your future wife then you need to ask without the daughter knowing about it, if you have asked the daughter first then you can both approach the person for the blessing, or not. There are no strict rules on this, you can't really make a mistake so approach this anyway you like but just have fun and don't be a nervous wreck. Good luck to you both |
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How can I answer to this question? What most attracted you to our company? |
| Question found in Interview Advice |
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Hello, So why was you? If you researched the company when you saw their ad for the post you were applying for, what made you apply? Was it a well known name, large company with good job prospects, the job is based in an area that you wanted to move into, you have heard a lot of good things about them? The possible reasons that first attracted you are endless but all you need to do is pick some and use them to answer the question. Have fun |
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My big toes are being forced to bend over almost covering the second toe on both feet causing great discomfort. Will it involve surgery too put right? |
| Question found in Health & Fitness In General |
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Hello there, You will need to seek professional advice on this matter but I suspect that going by your description surgery will be a definite option. Take a deep breath, don't worry about it too much and get it sorted out. You will feel so much happier when you have. Kind regards |
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Could a elbow injury 20 plus years ago be linked to two of the fingers joints nearest the thumb of my right hand having osteoarthritis or is it more likely to be caused by repetitive activity? I hand cap 800 bottles of cream daily over a three hour period?? |
| Question found in Health & Fitness In General |
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Hello, You can't rule it out as it could have predisposed you to possible problems in later life but you didn't say how severe the injury was. I think it is unlikely though but i do agree with you that RSI,{Repetitive Strain Injury} is the more likely cause. As it's name implies it is an inflammation in the joints caused by regularly performing the same movements over a prolonged period. The only real solution is to stop but you maybe able to lessen the affects by either changing hands, asking for a break and moving to a different section for a while but to be honest a less manual job would be the best hope for any long term relief. You could grin and bear it by asking your Gp for some anti-imflamms or by using an aspirin based pain killer, via your chemist. Good luck Comments : fell onto elbow was back at work next day had to have some little bits of grizzle/bone removed 10 years later as they were floating around under skin no more trouble with elbow since
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How can I find out my work history for a C.V? |
| Question found in Jobs & Careers |
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Hello, What do you mean? You list all the jobs, duties, and how long you were there for and put it down on your CV. Make sure that you don't fall foul of being too honest but list your responsibilities in a bullet form that is concise and upbeat. If you have not worked much if any since leaving school then concentrate on pocket money jobs or outside interests, like team sports especially if you attained any leadership roles in the sport concerned. Everything that you may view as a negative can be turned into a positive and used on your CV you may just need to change your perspective a little to help yourself out. One of the ways that can help achieve that is to think like an employer. When I have recruited staff I always look for confident and self assured people, especially when I can sense that they don't really feel it inside. Accept that you're human and be yourself, trying too hard never wins anything more than sympathy. Just keep one thing in mind, if you don't get the job someone else will so what can you do to make you look a better bet? (No blatant lying as it causes too much stress) Have fun |
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My husband has a boil on his forearm and it's busted open and it's started to look like the skin around the boil is rotting away. What should I do? |
| Question found in Health & Fitness In General |
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Hello, I would suggest that a quick visit to his doctor or hospital outpatients maybe in order. Until that time bathe the affected area with a saline solution (salt water) and you could even pop into a chemist and buy an over the counter medicine to help soothe any other symptoms. If you are still concerned then please take my initial advice and seek medical assistance but it should clear up. Take care |
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I am a former smoker as of 4 days ago and I have been having pain in my chest, under my chest, and in my left kidney area. What could it be |
| Question found in Health & Fitness In General |
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Hello there, Well done! But please keep it up. Did you just stop or have you allowed your body time to readjust? (replacement therapy{RT}, nicotine patches etc) If you stopped abruptly and doing it cold turkey then you may experience some minor moans from your body who is just telling you that it doesn't like any sudden change, and who does....... I don't personally recommend going cold turkey as most people's bodies prefer any change more gradual. Cutting down requires far more discipline then using some form of RT and there are loads of places that will help you with costs so if you are not using them then please explore that option now. Either way, you may experience some niggles on the road to becoming more healthy but you may need to take stock of your whole life and look at ways of predicting where you may find obstacles which will allow you time to have solutions in mind if you suffer any setbacks, prewarned is prearmed. All the best contact me if I can help further. Kind regards |
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