Poor you, you sound really blue. St John's Wort is a herbal alternative to antidepressants you might want to try, but you should maybe think about a few other things too. Sometimes a hormonal imbalance can cause the symptoms you describe, and Agnus Castus, Black Cohosh and Evening Primrose Oil are all know to help restore hormonal balance in women.
Antidepressants can be useful to treat short term depression, a doctor would be able to tell you if that was an appropriate treatment for you. Most modern antidepressants are not just tranquilisers that blot feeling out but affect the brain chemistry and how it processes serotonin - here too a Dr could explain the actual effect for you.
But maybe you could try and talk through your feelings with a friend to try and get to the root of the problem?
Good luck and I really hope you feel better soon.
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